accepting limitations

It’s an unfortunate fact of life that there is a day in life you realize you peaked and missed it.  For a while now, I have been trying to come to terms with the fact that I am not superhuman.  I still don’t want to admit to it, but after yesterday I can’t argue anymore.  After the massive episode yesterday, even today I was still down and out.

I always pushed along and never even thought about the fact I had maybe been past my prime.  At thirty I still pushed and felt just as active as twenty.  By thirty five, I had reallized a small slow down but tried to ignore it.  But at thirty eight I decided I was not going to hit forty in bad shape due to my own failing.  I quit smoking, eating better, started riding my bike a lot, then running.

I decided when I hit forty I was going to be in better shape than twenty five.  I was doing great until the twitching and spasms started.  At first I thought I was just overdoing it and kept pushing, but when it persisted, I finally learned something was wrong.

Slowing down sucks.  Today I couldn’t make it through a day at work cause my arm just hurt too bad.  More than just my arm hurt, but that’s not too big of a deal when it all hurts.  I could sink into being depressed so easily now, but I still have too much left unfinished.  I’ve got to slow down but I can’t stop yet, because there is so much I want to fix in my life and the lives of my loved ones before I give in.

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About thejollyrunner

There's so much and so little time. The two most important things to know is I suffer from a condition caused Generalized Dystonia and that I love to run. Ironically, two things that don't mix are what now defines me. I have a whole variety of other interests such as my long standing devotion to the Texas Rangers. I am also quite the hunter, fisher, and all around outdoorsman. If I had more time and less dystonia pains, I would fit in more gardening, home improvement, and probably some amatuer astronomy. And lastly, while my life is regrettably being slowed down from the dystonia, I am trying my hand at writing. I have a lot of ideas and it would be nice to see if I have what it takes to create some works worthy of publsihing.
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